Dear Friends,
This final note is to thank all of you who have followed our journey from June, 2008, through yesterday, when nearly 1000 people came to St. Mary Parish to see Den for the last time. It was, I thought, a beautiful tribute to a wonderful, special man. I want to give special thanks to all of the alumni who returned to sing -- that meant more than you'll ever know.
While I can't begin to imagine what life will be like now, I know that Denny will always be with me. I know he is at peace and I hope he is golfing, playing basketball, biking, or even correcting papers--all things he loved but has been unable to do for far too long.
Thank you for all of the wonderful things you said about Denny. I was lucky to be married to such a remarkable man and we were fortunate to be blessed with wonderful kids and grandkids. We both loved our jobs and the extended family we have had at Xavier. The support and love they have always shown, but particularly these past months, has been phenomenal, and I know that will continue when I return to work.
So, although it ended way too soon, we had a great life and our memories will keep Den close to all of us. God Bless all of you and thank you, again, for everything.
With love and gratitude,
Carla
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
November 24
Dear Friends,
It is with a heavy heart that I write to tell you that Denny passed away this afternoon. His death was peaceful and gentle and we are comforted knowing that he is happy once again.
Your love, concern, and prayers over the past year and a half will never be forgotten. You provided the strength we needed to get through the challenges and were there to celebrate the small victories. Thank you.
With much love,
Carla, Chip (Jenn, Connor, and Grant,) Shannon (Doug, Ryan, and Keira,) and Dave
It is with a heavy heart that I write to tell you that Denny passed away this afternoon. His death was peaceful and gentle and we are comforted knowing that he is happy once again.
Your love, concern, and prayers over the past year and a half will never be forgotten. You provided the strength we needed to get through the challenges and were there to celebrate the small victories. Thank you.
With much love,
Carla, Chip (Jenn, Connor, and Grant,) Shannon (Doug, Ryan, and Keira,) and Dave
Sunday, November 22, 2009
November 22
Hi,
There really isn't much to report since my last entry. We've had some very long nights--that seems to be the time Denny is most restless. He will calm down for a few minutes if he hears my voice (or Shannon's on the nights she has stayed here with us.) But the calm doesn't last very long. Last night we left the lights and television on, thinking he would sense some activity and possibly feel more secure. It did seem to work for a few hours, so tonight I will try that again. I rearranged his bedroom today so the recliner is next to his good side because it also helps just to hold his hand. I think it helps me as much as him.
I still read to him and every so often he will make one of his deadpan remarks that have always made me laugh. I appreciate all of the e-mails, blog posts, and cards--
it's that special time of the day when he can hear, again, what a great role model he has been to so many students and athletes. When his time does come, he will certainly leave this life knowing he made a difference in this world.
Until next time,
Love,
Carla
There really isn't much to report since my last entry. We've had some very long nights--that seems to be the time Denny is most restless. He will calm down for a few minutes if he hears my voice (or Shannon's on the nights she has stayed here with us.) But the calm doesn't last very long. Last night we left the lights and television on, thinking he would sense some activity and possibly feel more secure. It did seem to work for a few hours, so tonight I will try that again. I rearranged his bedroom today so the recliner is next to his good side because it also helps just to hold his hand. I think it helps me as much as him.
I still read to him and every so often he will make one of his deadpan remarks that have always made me laugh. I appreciate all of the e-mails, blog posts, and cards--
it's that special time of the day when he can hear, again, what a great role model he has been to so many students and athletes. When his time does come, he will certainly leave this life knowing he made a difference in this world.
Until next time,
Love,
Carla
Monday, November 16, 2009
November 16
Hi,
It was a busy weekend with lots of visitors. Although those visits are often brief because Denny is sleeping so much of the time, he is always delighted to see friends and family. He had an extremely rough night Saturday, and that seemed to take a lot out of him. Sadly, he hasn't been out of bed since and communication seems to be more difficult for him. He clearly comprehends what is said to him, but finding words to reply is a challenge. I have so much admiration for how he is handling all of this. To be such a gifted athlete and scholar all his life and now being unable to walk, use his right hand, or speak must be so frustrating for him. Yet, there is neither complaining nor anger for what has happened to him. After all of these years together, I'm really not surprised at the dignified response he's had to this horrible disease and the aggressive treatments he endured, but I wouldn't be honest if I didn't admit to profound sadness mixed with fear and anger. If Den had written a lesson plan about all of this, I just know he would have had a way to make sense out of everything. I guess that's what made him such a gifted teacher.
Love to all of you who are following this blog. I'll continue to update every couple of days. Please keep our family in your prayers.
Many hugs,
Carla
It was a busy weekend with lots of visitors. Although those visits are often brief because Denny is sleeping so much of the time, he is always delighted to see friends and family. He had an extremely rough night Saturday, and that seemed to take a lot out of him. Sadly, he hasn't been out of bed since and communication seems to be more difficult for him. He clearly comprehends what is said to him, but finding words to reply is a challenge. I have so much admiration for how he is handling all of this. To be such a gifted athlete and scholar all his life and now being unable to walk, use his right hand, or speak must be so frustrating for him. Yet, there is neither complaining nor anger for what has happened to him. After all of these years together, I'm really not surprised at the dignified response he's had to this horrible disease and the aggressive treatments he endured, but I wouldn't be honest if I didn't admit to profound sadness mixed with fear and anger. If Den had written a lesson plan about all of this, I just know he would have had a way to make sense out of everything. I guess that's what made him such a gifted teacher.
Love to all of you who are following this blog. I'll continue to update every couple of days. Please keep our family in your prayers.
Many hugs,
Carla
Friday, November 13, 2009
November 13
Hi,
Surprisingly, time is going by faster than ever. I can't believe it's Friday already!
The daily routine of the hospice RN and CNA coming and going, along with the social worker and spiritual director checking in, friends stopping in to visit and/or bring meals after school each day, and the kids coming over at night when I sometimes need help, makes for some pretty busy days. I hope everyone who has helped us in any way know how much we appreciate everything.
Today was the annual Help Your Neighbor Day for the Xavier student body and staff, and we were fortunate to have a group come to our house. Under the supervision of Dave Kubisch, one of Denny's best friends and fellow track coach, that great group of kids completely cleaned out and then reorganized our garage! What a gift!! I'm hoping that the weather is mild enough tomorrow so I can get Denny outside in his wheelchair so he can see the "makeover." I took him out earlier in the week so he could see the renovation going on across the street and he really enjoyed the fresh air and change of scenery. It was tiring for him, and I know it will be again tomorrow, but I know he'll marvel at the orderliness the Kubisch/Bires teams achieved!
All in all, I guess things are going okay. Denny definitely has some periods of time that are much better than others, and there's no denying that his right side has lost just about all of its strength and feeling, but we're adapting. Last night we watched all of "Grey's Anatomy" together and whenever Grant is here, it's a given that he crawls up next to Papa and they watch "Blue's Clues." There's a medicine you can't bottle! Other times there is confusion but I can usually figure out what is troubling him. And the only medicine for that is sleep, because the confusion and fatigue go hand in hand.
That's it for now~I hope you have a great weekend~and I'll write again in a few days.
Love,
Carla
Surprisingly, time is going by faster than ever. I can't believe it's Friday already!
The daily routine of the hospice RN and CNA coming and going, along with the social worker and spiritual director checking in, friends stopping in to visit and/or bring meals after school each day, and the kids coming over at night when I sometimes need help, makes for some pretty busy days. I hope everyone who has helped us in any way know how much we appreciate everything.
Today was the annual Help Your Neighbor Day for the Xavier student body and staff, and we were fortunate to have a group come to our house. Under the supervision of Dave Kubisch, one of Denny's best friends and fellow track coach, that great group of kids completely cleaned out and then reorganized our garage! What a gift!! I'm hoping that the weather is mild enough tomorrow so I can get Denny outside in his wheelchair so he can see the "makeover." I took him out earlier in the week so he could see the renovation going on across the street and he really enjoyed the fresh air and change of scenery. It was tiring for him, and I know it will be again tomorrow, but I know he'll marvel at the orderliness the Kubisch/Bires teams achieved!
All in all, I guess things are going okay. Denny definitely has some periods of time that are much better than others, and there's no denying that his right side has lost just about all of its strength and feeling, but we're adapting. Last night we watched all of "Grey's Anatomy" together and whenever Grant is here, it's a given that he crawls up next to Papa and they watch "Blue's Clues." There's a medicine you can't bottle! Other times there is confusion but I can usually figure out what is troubling him. And the only medicine for that is sleep, because the confusion and fatigue go hand in hand.
That's it for now~I hope you have a great weekend~and I'll write again in a few days.
Love,
Carla
Monday, November 9, 2009
November 9
Hi Everyone,
Just a quick note to let you know that everything is pretty much status quo here. We had an uneventful weekend and today the nurse and I figured out that when Den has been up too long and/or feels really weak, we have to just let him be. Today the nurse just wanted Den to scoot backwards onto the bed and it simply caused him to collapse. It was scary, because for about 20-30 seconds he wasn't responsive, but when he did come to he remembered everything, including what he said to the nurse as his legs gave out. So whether it was a mini seizure, a fainting spell, or something else, I hope we know how to avoid another one.
Otherwise, his appetite is still good. he has no pain, and he has enjoyed the visits with those who have come over. His mental clarity goes hand in hand with the fatigue, so there is a range. I continue to be amazed at the hospice personnel and the care they give. I am even more amazed by the patience and faith Denny exhibits every single day.
Time to head for bed and pray for, among other things, a full night of sleep for both of us.
Love,
Carla
Just a quick note to let you know that everything is pretty much status quo here. We had an uneventful weekend and today the nurse and I figured out that when Den has been up too long and/or feels really weak, we have to just let him be. Today the nurse just wanted Den to scoot backwards onto the bed and it simply caused him to collapse. It was scary, because for about 20-30 seconds he wasn't responsive, but when he did come to he remembered everything, including what he said to the nurse as his legs gave out. So whether it was a mini seizure, a fainting spell, or something else, I hope we know how to avoid another one.
Otherwise, his appetite is still good. he has no pain, and he has enjoyed the visits with those who have come over. His mental clarity goes hand in hand with the fatigue, so there is a range. I continue to be amazed at the hospice personnel and the care they give. I am even more amazed by the patience and faith Denny exhibits every single day.
Time to head for bed and pray for, among other things, a full night of sleep for both of us.
Love,
Carla
Friday, November 6, 2009
November 6
Hi,
Life, as we know it here, has settled into somewhat of a routine. That is because Denny continues to be an incredibly good patient, the hospice nurses are so incredibly helpful, and the kids and friends have been so incredibly available.
Denny is probably sleeping nearly 75% of the time, but when he is awake he enjoys visiting and watching television. His visitors have included classmates from his days in the seminary, colleagues (past and present) from Xavier, friends, and family. The four grandkids continue to light him up when they arrive with their artwork and/or crawl up onto his bed. We are surely trying to create happy memories for all of us.
The hospice nurses don't visit on weekends, but Dave is coming home to help me and I'm sure we'll handle things okay. He and Chip are going to find a way to build up Den's king-sized Lazy-Boy recliner so it sits higher off the floor. That will be a major help for me when I'm here alone and need to transfer him back to bed or to the
commode.
We are delighted to see that the XHS volleyball team is in the State finals tomorrow. GO Hawks!! We'll be with you in spirit when you beat Memorial!!!! We were sorry to see that the football team was defeated tonight, but we know that those boys put 110% in to their season. Congratulations guys and coaches.
Enjoy what is predicted to be a beautiful weekend. Our love and appreciation to everyone reading this entry. It's comforting to know that so many are hanging in there with us!
Love,
Carla
Life, as we know it here, has settled into somewhat of a routine. That is because Denny continues to be an incredibly good patient, the hospice nurses are so incredibly helpful, and the kids and friends have been so incredibly available.
Denny is probably sleeping nearly 75% of the time, but when he is awake he enjoys visiting and watching television. His visitors have included classmates from his days in the seminary, colleagues (past and present) from Xavier, friends, and family. The four grandkids continue to light him up when they arrive with their artwork and/or crawl up onto his bed. We are surely trying to create happy memories for all of us.
The hospice nurses don't visit on weekends, but Dave is coming home to help me and I'm sure we'll handle things okay. He and Chip are going to find a way to build up Den's king-sized Lazy-Boy recliner so it sits higher off the floor. That will be a major help for me when I'm here alone and need to transfer him back to bed or to the
commode.
We are delighted to see that the XHS volleyball team is in the State finals tomorrow. GO Hawks!! We'll be with you in spirit when you beat Memorial!!!! We were sorry to see that the football team was defeated tonight, but we know that those boys put 110% in to their season. Congratulations guys and coaches.
Enjoy what is predicted to be a beautiful weekend. Our love and appreciation to everyone reading this entry. It's comforting to know that so many are hanging in there with us!
Love,
Carla
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
November 4
Good morning,
After a great day Monday, yesterday may have been one of Denny's worst to date. He also put in a very rough night, so I'm anticipating he'll get lots of sleep today.
Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers today, so that his rest is peaceful and, if possible, refreshing, so he is able to visit with the friends he misses so much who usually visit in the late afternoons. You have all been so incredible and I am so thankful for your dedication to the great guy I've been lucky enough to be married to.
Love always,
Carla
After a great day Monday, yesterday may have been one of Denny's worst to date. He also put in a very rough night, so I'm anticipating he'll get lots of sleep today.
Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers today, so that his rest is peaceful and, if possible, refreshing, so he is able to visit with the friends he misses so much who usually visit in the late afternoons. You have all been so incredible and I am so thankful for your dedication to the great guy I've been lucky enough to be married to.
Love always,
Carla
Monday, November 2, 2009
November 2
Hi,
A routine is starting to fall into place with the help of the wonderful caregivers from Heartland Hospice, our kids, and friends. Denny sleeps quite a bit, but when he's awake he enjoys his company, watches TV, and looks forward to me reading any messages for him. I think today was exceptionally good as he was up a little longer than usual and was interested in watching both baseball games and the football game
all at the same time! His dad, brother (Pat), and sister-in-law (Julie) were here yesterday and I know he really enjoyed that visit. They came with rakes in hand, so our yard looks great, too! Angels all around!!
The other part of Den's routine is to wake up a couple of times during the night, so I am trying to get to bed earlier than usual for me. With that, I'll sign off for this time and head for bed.
Thank you, everyone, for your continued prayers.
Love,
Carla
A routine is starting to fall into place with the help of the wonderful caregivers from Heartland Hospice, our kids, and friends. Denny sleeps quite a bit, but when he's awake he enjoys his company, watches TV, and looks forward to me reading any messages for him. I think today was exceptionally good as he was up a little longer than usual and was interested in watching both baseball games and the football game
all at the same time! His dad, brother (Pat), and sister-in-law (Julie) were here yesterday and I know he really enjoyed that visit. They came with rakes in hand, so our yard looks great, too! Angels all around!!
The other part of Den's routine is to wake up a couple of times during the night, so I am trying to get to bed earlier than usual for me. With that, I'll sign off for this time and head for bed.
Thank you, everyone, for your continued prayers.
Love,
Carla
Saturday, October 31, 2009
October 31
Happy Halloween!
Today was a good day. Denny slept peacefully through the night until lunchtime. He ate well, went back to sleep, and then was up from about 5:00 until nearly 9:00.
He watched football with Dave and Chip, played with Connor and Grant, and then we watched the end of "Footloose." I read him your cards, e-mails, and blog responses
which still seem to take him by surprise when so many credit their successes to lessons learned from him, either as a teacher, coach, or the outstanding role model he has been throughout his life. He always smiles and shakes his head and sometimes says, "I was just doing my job."
Our day began with Xavier's very own Merry Maids (that would be Kathy Bates, Sarah Simon, and Beth Rippl) showing up to clean our house! Of course, Sarah brought enough food for our family for the weekend, so that was a wonderful surprise. (There is one lucky guy out there who just hasn't met her yet! She is something else!!) Other neighbors and friends stopped in, too, so the day went by quickly. Now it's time for some sleep.
I hope you are all enjoying the weekend. Hug someone you love extra tight!!
Love,
Carla
Today was a good day. Denny slept peacefully through the night until lunchtime. He ate well, went back to sleep, and then was up from about 5:00 until nearly 9:00.
He watched football with Dave and Chip, played with Connor and Grant, and then we watched the end of "Footloose." I read him your cards, e-mails, and blog responses
which still seem to take him by surprise when so many credit their successes to lessons learned from him, either as a teacher, coach, or the outstanding role model he has been throughout his life. He always smiles and shakes his head and sometimes says, "I was just doing my job."
Our day began with Xavier's very own Merry Maids (that would be Kathy Bates, Sarah Simon, and Beth Rippl) showing up to clean our house! Of course, Sarah brought enough food for our family for the weekend, so that was a wonderful surprise. (There is one lucky guy out there who just hasn't met her yet! She is something else!!) Other neighbors and friends stopped in, too, so the day went by quickly. Now it's time for some sleep.
I hope you are all enjoying the weekend. Hug someone you love extra tight!!
Love,
Carla
Thursday, October 29, 2009
October 29
Dear Friends,
We are home. The last two days have been a whirlwind of activity, but with Denny sleeping in his "new" room, I finally have some time to write.
Yesterday our day began with a visit with Steve Howard, who met with Drs. Mehta and Robbins (both nationally known for their expertise with brain cancer and treatment for it) on Tuesday. Denny's cancer is very unique. It's location, size, and response to treatment have all been very unusual. Steve told us that patients with similar tumors rarely survive six months even with treatment. That was news to us--we never wanted to know the numbers in relation to "time." I'm thankful we never knew that fact because it allowed us to live with lots of hope these past sixteen months.
The general weakness to Den's entire body and specific numbness to his right side is
most likely from the combination of radiation, chemo, and steroids. Steve explained in lay terms just how the thalamus works and how the treatments affected the cancer and the areas around it. I'm thankful, too, that he didn't share that information earlier. That's why he is so special to us--as is Dr. Meena. Both seemed to know just what we needed to know at the time.
We came home via Cabulance and were greeted by members of the hospice staff. Denny's nurse is a tall, soft-spoken young man who already seems to be a great match for our family. He spent just the right amount of time as we got Den settled in.
Then last night Dr. Richter came over to check on everything and go over all of the medications. He and Dr. Meena will work together to make sure Denny gets everything he needs right here at home.
Today we met the aide that will be here to help. He endeared himself to me as I watched him take care of Denny this afternoon. I believe that God had a hand in sending these two angels to help me take care of Denny, because I felt immediate trust and Denny feels very comfortable with both of them.
So, here we are, and we will take each day as it comes just like we have since June 11, 2008, when we first learned about this dreaded disease. With God and all of you with us, those days will be much easier. Please continue to communicate if you have time--I read every single note, e-mail, blog comment, and card to Denny. It always amazes me how many details he can remember about former students from Xavier, St. Mary's, St. John's, and even those he taught the one year he spent in Denmark. It has been fun for him to hear from so many of you.
"Yesterday is but a dream,
And tomorrow is only a vision.
But today, well-lived,
Makes every yesterday a dream of happiness,
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day."
---Sanskrit proverb
Love and many thanks to all of you,
Carla
We are home. The last two days have been a whirlwind of activity, but with Denny sleeping in his "new" room, I finally have some time to write.
Yesterday our day began with a visit with Steve Howard, who met with Drs. Mehta and Robbins (both nationally known for their expertise with brain cancer and treatment for it) on Tuesday. Denny's cancer is very unique. It's location, size, and response to treatment have all been very unusual. Steve told us that patients with similar tumors rarely survive six months even with treatment. That was news to us--we never wanted to know the numbers in relation to "time." I'm thankful we never knew that fact because it allowed us to live with lots of hope these past sixteen months.
The general weakness to Den's entire body and specific numbness to his right side is
most likely from the combination of radiation, chemo, and steroids. Steve explained in lay terms just how the thalamus works and how the treatments affected the cancer and the areas around it. I'm thankful, too, that he didn't share that information earlier. That's why he is so special to us--as is Dr. Meena. Both seemed to know just what we needed to know at the time.
We came home via Cabulance and were greeted by members of the hospice staff. Denny's nurse is a tall, soft-spoken young man who already seems to be a great match for our family. He spent just the right amount of time as we got Den settled in.
Then last night Dr. Richter came over to check on everything and go over all of the medications. He and Dr. Meena will work together to make sure Denny gets everything he needs right here at home.
Today we met the aide that will be here to help. He endeared himself to me as I watched him take care of Denny this afternoon. I believe that God had a hand in sending these two angels to help me take care of Denny, because I felt immediate trust and Denny feels very comfortable with both of them.
So, here we are, and we will take each day as it comes just like we have since June 11, 2008, when we first learned about this dreaded disease. With God and all of you with us, those days will be much easier. Please continue to communicate if you have time--I read every single note, e-mail, blog comment, and card to Denny. It always amazes me how many details he can remember about former students from Xavier, St. Mary's, St. John's, and even those he taught the one year he spent in Denmark. It has been fun for him to hear from so many of you.
"Yesterday is but a dream,
And tomorrow is only a vision.
But today, well-lived,
Makes every yesterday a dream of happiness,
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day."
---Sanskrit proverb
Love and many thanks to all of you,
Carla
Monday, October 26, 2009
October 26 (P.M.)
Hi again,
Today was busy--it seems like I was just sitting here writing the previous blog. I went to the hospital right after that entry and just returned. Den had a more comfortable day and even participated in a limited physical therapy session. We never did see the neurologist who ordered the MRI, but another doctor told us that there is a small area that is new since the September scan. I am anticipating a far more detailed explanation from Steve Howard when we see him Wednesday morning. We had this appointment with him long before any of the recent hospitalizations (he just happens to be coming to Mercy that day.) I know that Denny is looking forward to seeing Steve.
After that appointment, we will be coming home. The hospice nurse and aide will meet us here so they can get Denny into the house in a wheelchair. Then that night Dr. Richter will stop over just to go through all of the medications, etc., with me. Today they showed me how to fill the insulin needles that he'll be needing on a sliding scale, so that's the only really new thing. The plan is to decrease the steroids slowly (again) so I'm hoping at some point Denny won't need the insulin at all. Everything, literally, depends on the steroids.
So, we will take each day as it comes. I know that the hospice care is a Godsend and
I know I will be forever grateful for their help. Needing help, asking for help, accepting help--it's a hard place to be. But then I think of what Denny is going through and I realize that without the help of others his life will lack the joy of friendship that he so deeply deserves and really needs at this point of this challenge. So please know that your messages, visits, etc., will always be greatly appreciated. Once he's settled in to his new room and the routine of the hospice people, we'll have a better idea of what we need to make this situation the best it can be for Denny. Thank you, everyone, for your kind notes, concern, encouragement, and prayers.
Love,
Carla
Today was busy--it seems like I was just sitting here writing the previous blog. I went to the hospital right after that entry and just returned. Den had a more comfortable day and even participated in a limited physical therapy session. We never did see the neurologist who ordered the MRI, but another doctor told us that there is a small area that is new since the September scan. I am anticipating a far more detailed explanation from Steve Howard when we see him Wednesday morning. We had this appointment with him long before any of the recent hospitalizations (he just happens to be coming to Mercy that day.) I know that Denny is looking forward to seeing Steve.
After that appointment, we will be coming home. The hospice nurse and aide will meet us here so they can get Denny into the house in a wheelchair. Then that night Dr. Richter will stop over just to go through all of the medications, etc., with me. Today they showed me how to fill the insulin needles that he'll be needing on a sliding scale, so that's the only really new thing. The plan is to decrease the steroids slowly (again) so I'm hoping at some point Denny won't need the insulin at all. Everything, literally, depends on the steroids.
So, we will take each day as it comes. I know that the hospice care is a Godsend and
I know I will be forever grateful for their help. Needing help, asking for help, accepting help--it's a hard place to be. But then I think of what Denny is going through and I realize that without the help of others his life will lack the joy of friendship that he so deeply deserves and really needs at this point of this challenge. So please know that your messages, visits, etc., will always be greatly appreciated. Once he's settled in to his new room and the routine of the hospice people, we'll have a better idea of what we need to make this situation the best it can be for Denny. Thank you, everyone, for your kind notes, concern, encouragement, and prayers.
Love,
Carla
October 26
Hi,
I debated whether to write today but all of you have been with us for so long and today I really need the comfort of knowing you are still there. It's been a very emotional few days and I know today will be another. Denny has vacillated between the depths of despair and periods of time when he still sees that there could be hope. Today we will learn the results of Friday's MRI, so we will know more about what is causing his incredible weakness. He can no longer walk and turning himself in bed is exhausting for him. Also today, we are meeting with the social worker from Heartland Hospice to finalize plans with them. The kids, Pat and Patti Voss, and I worked this weekend to convert the dining room into a bedroom for Den, so I am as ready as I can be to bring him home.
Last night Denny asked for the kids and their families to come to the hospital. We were all there for a couple of hours and although he didn't say much, he smiled whenever he heard the voices of the little ones, and his voice was clear when he expressed his love for everyone. Everyone felt a little better when he asked for a bite of a cookie. I had planned to stay through the night if he wanted me there, but soon after the others left he assured me that the wave of fear and panic had been calmed and he just wanted to sleep, knowing we were all safe at home.
I will update this when I know more later on today.
Love,
Carla
I debated whether to write today but all of you have been with us for so long and today I really need the comfort of knowing you are still there. It's been a very emotional few days and I know today will be another. Denny has vacillated between the depths of despair and periods of time when he still sees that there could be hope. Today we will learn the results of Friday's MRI, so we will know more about what is causing his incredible weakness. He can no longer walk and turning himself in bed is exhausting for him. Also today, we are meeting with the social worker from Heartland Hospice to finalize plans with them. The kids, Pat and Patti Voss, and I worked this weekend to convert the dining room into a bedroom for Den, so I am as ready as I can be to bring him home.
Last night Denny asked for the kids and their families to come to the hospital. We were all there for a couple of hours and although he didn't say much, he smiled whenever he heard the voices of the little ones, and his voice was clear when he expressed his love for everyone. Everyone felt a little better when he asked for a bite of a cookie. I had planned to stay through the night if he wanted me there, but soon after the others left he assured me that the wave of fear and panic had been calmed and he just wanted to sleep, knowing we were all safe at home.
I will update this when I know more later on today.
Love,
Carla
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
October 21
Dear Friends,
It's been a chaotic week of physical and emotional ups and downs for all of us. I didn't want to write until there was a real plan and I didn't know what it would be until this afternoon.
Denny's stay at Mercy for physical/occupational rehab has not gone nearly as well as anyone expected. After a great start, his strength diminished significantly so he isn't able to meet the criteria to continue in the rehab unit. Tomorrow he will be transferred to the sub-acute unit at Mercy for about five days and then he will be discharged to come home. We had originally been told that he would be going to a nursing home for more therapy, but the insurance has deemed him ineligible for skilled nursing care. So, he will come home and I believe we will be eligible for hospice care. I'll be learning more about that over the next couple of days.
Because of his limitations, I am converting the dining room into a bedroom for him.
The kids will help me with that over the weekend so we are ready. I still don't know how we are going to get him into the house but where there's a will there's a way, I guess.
I suppose I should have been more prepared for this, but he was doing so well....
but we will continue to take each day as it comes and with God's help we'll do the best we can. As much as he'd like to, I know Den won't be responding to all of the e-mails he received, but please know how much of a morale booster those notes are for him.
I'll keep you posted. Thanks for your continued support as our journey continues.
Love,
Carla
It's been a chaotic week of physical and emotional ups and downs for all of us. I didn't want to write until there was a real plan and I didn't know what it would be until this afternoon.
Denny's stay at Mercy for physical/occupational rehab has not gone nearly as well as anyone expected. After a great start, his strength diminished significantly so he isn't able to meet the criteria to continue in the rehab unit. Tomorrow he will be transferred to the sub-acute unit at Mercy for about five days and then he will be discharged to come home. We had originally been told that he would be going to a nursing home for more therapy, but the insurance has deemed him ineligible for skilled nursing care. So, he will come home and I believe we will be eligible for hospice care. I'll be learning more about that over the next couple of days.
Because of his limitations, I am converting the dining room into a bedroom for him.
The kids will help me with that over the weekend so we are ready. I still don't know how we are going to get him into the house but where there's a will there's a way, I guess.
I suppose I should have been more prepared for this, but he was doing so well....
but we will continue to take each day as it comes and with God's help we'll do the best we can. As much as he'd like to, I know Den won't be responding to all of the e-mails he received, but please know how much of a morale booster those notes are for him.
I'll keep you posted. Thanks for your continued support as our journey continues.
Love,
Carla
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
October 13
Hi to everyone,
This will be brief as not much has changed. Denny continues his rehab at Mercy, where he will be for at least another week. He has good days and not-so-good days. He is still taking 16 mg. of steroids, which is causing high blood sugar numbers, which, in turn, causes blurred vision and other annoying side effects. Today was a pretty good day, so he accomplished a lot in all four therapy sessions. Now we just wait to see what tomorrow brings.
Thanks for your continued support. It keeps us going.
Love,
Carla
This will be brief as not much has changed. Denny continues his rehab at Mercy, where he will be for at least another week. He has good days and not-so-good days. He is still taking 16 mg. of steroids, which is causing high blood sugar numbers, which, in turn, causes blurred vision and other annoying side effects. Today was a pretty good day, so he accomplished a lot in all four therapy sessions. Now we just wait to see what tomorrow brings.
Thanks for your continued support. It keeps us going.
Love,
Carla
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